Back-to-school! Not exactly . . .

This morning as I was still half asleep with two wide-eyed and bushy-tailed babies crawling around my feet, I kissed Ben goodbye and wished him good luck on his first day of classes. It was then that reality set in for me.  For the first time in 25 years, I am not headed back-to-school.  From prancing into preschool many moons ago to waddling into my own classroom last year with a warning for my new students: "I am pregnant and hormonal.  Don't make me angry."--I can't remember a time in my life before school.  Until now.

As strange as it sometimes is to look back on what my life used to be, this morning I began to realize that my day with two nine month old babies appears strangely similar to what I've done for the last six years . . . teaching middle schoolers. 

Case in point:

1. Lunchtime is like spending 25 minutes in a jungle.  Last year it involved weeding through a sea of kids and fighting over the use of a microwave with my 13 year old students.  Now it involves scarfing down a sandwich with one hand and picking up soggy half-chewed food with the other.

2. Dress code violations galore!  Last year boys with droopy drawers and girls with short skirts went running if they saw me in the hall with a warning slip.  This year I spend my day with two kids who I think purposefully mess up their clothes so that they can chill in their diapers. 

3. Nonstop noise.  Have you ever walked through a middle school hallway at 3:00?  Enough said.  Now instead of screechy laughs and squeals, my day sounds and looks like a kiddie casino. Apparently, toys that make annoying sounds and flash lights into baby's eyes are good for their development.

4. Grades.  The end of my day used to involve unleashing my red pen on a pile of papers.  Now it involves this conversation:
Ben: How were the boys today?
Lindsay: Pretty good.  I give Hudson a B+ and Corbin an A-.
Ben: Not bad.  But room for improvement.
Lindsay: Yeah, we're shooting for an A+ tomorrow.  If naptime goes better, it's possible.

This list could continue for pages and pages.  From foul odor to whining to short attention spans, I've realized today that my babies are either child prodigies or that most middle schoolers revert back to babyhood.  Unfortunately, I think the latter is probably the case. 

So, although the boys and I are not technically going back-to-school, for now, our home is our classroom.  The content is different, but the students are just a little smaller and a little balder.