Gratitude in the Midst of Miserable

A week before Thanksgiving, we found out that we would be expecting our third child come mid-July.  Over the last eight weeks in the midst of our joy and excitement, I have been reminded of two things about pregnancy.

I don't enjoy it.  I had convinced myself that the nausea and so-called "morning sickness" (Who came up with that misleading term?  Must have been a man.) would be better this go around with just one little boy or girl chillin' in there.  False.  I am a miserable person to live with at the moment, and it's a testament to Ben's character that he hasn't run to the hills to live in the woods.  Well, maybe he tried to do that and found himself back home.  If you've ever battled with all-day nausea, you know what I'm talking about.  And if you were never sick when you were pregnant, then I hope you had fussy babies that kept you up all night.  Sorry, that was rude.  Did I mention that mood swings are also an issue for me at the moment?  My only consolation is knowing that Duchess Kate has had a rough go of it too.  Because if princesses get sick when they're pregnant, then I think it's safe to say that I, too, am part princess.  Interpret that how you will.

The second reminder is something that I thank God for every day--"Lord, Thank you for making me feel so miserable.  Thank you for allowing me to have this problem, for this reason."  Because on a bitter morning last April, I returned from a heartbreaking doctor's appointment.  And I knew the chances of us having another child were slim.  I cried a lot of tears that day and in the days to follow.  But if you had told me that in less than a year I would be feeling this sick, this horrible for this very reason, the tears still would have been there.  But they would have lost some of their sting.

I will never forget the journey we've been on for any of our children.  Nor, do I think we should.  It's part of our story, and part of our children's.  And yet, as much as our hearts are full of joy and anticipation, how can I forget those who still wait?  Those who wait for a healthy pregnancy, wait for another child, and those who wait for their very first child.  Couples with stories so much harder and more difficult than I can even imagine.  No, my heart doesn't forget our story or the stories of those whose wait continues.  And the prayers of my heart never cease.

"Weeping may endure for a night, 

But joy comes in the morning."

  ~Psalm 30:5 b