Farewell, My Faithful Steed

It was nine years ago that my parents bought me a '98 Nissan Altima from our next-door neighbor.  It has been my one and only car.  My Calvin College sticker still clings to the back windshield--one of the last visible signs of my youth.  For the last couple of years, my car has housed two carseats, spilled sippy cups, dirty diapers, and a sea of crushed goldfish, and yet I felt somewhat prideful that I was still young enough to be driving my first car.  When you get married a month after you graduate from college and a week after you turn 22, you don't have many big reminders of life before "I do."  This was one of my final links, and now it's time to hand over the keys.

My car has traveled many roads.  It kept this Maryland girl safe as I fishtailed down snowy Michigan roads headed for my student teaching gig.  It heard my grumbles and usage of a few choice words at Midwesterners for their ability to open school in the midst of a blizzard and their inability to handle a 90 degree summer day.  One May its trunk carried textbooks and backpacks, twin sheets, and a myriad of college wear.  And a month later, it was packed to the gills again, this time clutching dishes, towels, queen sheets, and wedding presents.  Its steering wheel felt my sweaty hands as I embarked on my first day of teaching.  Its radio belted music on carefree summer days as Ben and  I journeyed down the eastern part of the country.  And on a cold December day when we brought our tiny boys home from the hospital, its cramped backseat cradled two babies with me wedged in between because I feared they wouldn't make the two mile trek home.

At the end of the day, it's just a car--a bunch of metal, and plastic, and a sprinkling of rust.  Yet, it's been in my life from college, to my newlywed days, to the beginning of motherhood.  It has driven me through many memories.  Never a main character, but always there.

But today will be the last day it's there, at least there for me.  It's time to say goodbye, hand over the keys, warn the new owner of the sun visors that randomly fall while you're driving and the power locks that are most certainly possessed.  Time for me to convince myself that driving a mini-van can be a very cool thing.  And time to watch Old Faithful drive off into the sunset to new journeys and new memories.    

Don't worry--it's not a dead body.  Just me taking a nap.

Superhero Ben to My Rescue!

I love Batman.  Like seriously, have loved the whole Batman enterprise from when I was a wee toddler dancing my diapered rear with the beat of the 60s TV theme song, to my adolescence when I excitedly pulled my Batman comic from the mailbox each month, and to my 21st birthday when I received two AMAZING presents--an engagement ring and a Barbie Batgirl doll.  Seriously.  Coolest Barbie ever.  And I still have hopes of getting the tattoo I have dreamed of since I was a small lass--a bat signal.  (Or maybe I already have that said tattoo.  Can't say either way.  My mother reads this blog, and she might disown me.)

I've been thinking a lot about Batman and superheroes lately.  And I've been thinking a lot about Ben.  Maybe it's because it's February, the month of love, and maybe I'm wearing rose-colored glasses.  Whatever the reason, it has occured to me in the last few weeks that Ben is incredibly ordinary.  And incredibly superheroish at the same time.

See if you agree:

1. All superheroes wear tights or some embarrassing costume--Ben doesn't wear tights, per se.  But when he runs, he wears entirely too short of shorts.

2. Superheroes can move FAST--Ben runs in his short shorts.  And he runs quite fast in them.  Sometimes a few snarly villains can catch him in a race, but not many.

3. Every superhero has at least one archnemesis--Ben is a teacher in an upper-middle class school district.  Can you say helicopter moms galore?  The archnemesis of many teachers . . .

4. Most superheroes have some kind of weakness, krytonite you could say--Ben can't go to Target for more than five minutes without getting woozy and ill.  So tragic.  It's like all his power is sucked out, and we're left with a deflated Ben.  In short shorts. 

5. Every superhero feels compassion and hurts when he can't save the helpless--A few hours after I wrote my last blog post, I had to be rushed to the hospital for excuricating pain.  It turns out my right ovary twisted and would have to be removed later that evening with emergency surgery.  Needless to say, that was not a good day.  But there were two things about that day that I will never forget.  One was when I saw our baby girl on the ultrasound screen and knew she was okay.  And the second was Ben's face.  I was lying on the hospital bed, curled up, writhing in pain and moaning for pain meds.  I looked up at Ben, and there he stood with moist eyes and a look of such anguish that I've never seen before.  I knew in that instant I wasn't alone in all of this.  My pain was his.  And I can honestly say, that was one of the most beautiful moments of our marriage so far.      

Admittedly, he doesn't fly, he doesn't sneak out at night to battle the Joker or Lex Luther, and he doesn't star in blockbuster hits.  But he has loved me like every little girl dreams of, he has prayed for me day after day, he has taken care of me when I'm nauseated and miserable, and he has held my hand during the good and the ugly.

What more could you ask for from a superhero?  Happy belated Valentine's Day, Ben--my superhero yesterday, today, and till the end!  I love you, short shorts and all!

Gratitude in the Midst of Miserable

A week before Thanksgiving, we found out that we would be expecting our third child come mid-July.  Over the last eight weeks in the midst of our joy and excitement, I have been reminded of two things about pregnancy.

I don't enjoy it.  I had convinced myself that the nausea and so-called "morning sickness" (Who came up with that misleading term?  Must have been a man.) would be better this go around with just one little boy or girl chillin' in there.  False.  I am a miserable person to live with at the moment, and it's a testament to Ben's character that he hasn't run to the hills to live in the woods.  Well, maybe he tried to do that and found himself back home.  If you've ever battled with all-day nausea, you know what I'm talking about.  And if you were never sick when you were pregnant, then I hope you had fussy babies that kept you up all night.  Sorry, that was rude.  Did I mention that mood swings are also an issue for me at the moment?  My only consolation is knowing that Duchess Kate has had a rough go of it too.  Because if princesses get sick when they're pregnant, then I think it's safe to say that I, too, am part princess.  Interpret that how you will.

The second reminder is something that I thank God for every day--"Lord, Thank you for making me feel so miserable.  Thank you for allowing me to have this problem, for this reason."  Because on a bitter morning last April, I returned from a heartbreaking doctor's appointment.  And I knew the chances of us having another child were slim.  I cried a lot of tears that day and in the days to follow.  But if you had told me that in less than a year I would be feeling this sick, this horrible for this very reason, the tears still would have been there.  But they would have lost some of their sting.

I will never forget the journey we've been on for any of our children.  Nor, do I think we should.  It's part of our story, and part of our children's.  And yet, as much as our hearts are full of joy and anticipation, how can I forget those who still wait?  Those who wait for a healthy pregnancy, wait for another child, and those who wait for their very first child.  Couples with stories so much harder and more difficult than I can even imagine.  No, my heart doesn't forget our story or the stories of those whose wait continues.  And the prayers of my heart never cease.

"Weeping may endure for a night, 

But joy comes in the morning."

  ~Psalm 30:5 b

Thanksbirthdays!

The week of Thanksgiving is a busy time for us.  And you're probably thinking, "Really, you too?  Join the club."  Yes, it is a busy time because of travel and cooking and eating all that food like green bean casserole and turkey and stuffing (all of which I really don't care for).  And it's also a busy time for many because they enter a state of lunacy and go shopping at midnight amidst a mob of overly tired and overly turkefied people.

Yes, the week of Thanksgiving is busy for me for those reasons too, but it also marks the birth of four very special people in my life.

 

On November 19 my darling husband said goodbye to the carefree spontanaiety of his 20s.  Oh wait, I believe that ended the day I gave birth to two boys at once.  Anyway, we were able to celebrate with a romantic weekend away in Philadelphia paid by Loudoun County taxpayers.  Just kidding, well sort of.  I just tagged along while he attended a foreign language conference.  Yay for free hotel stays and food allowances! 

 

Celebrating Ben's birthday: What is this??!!  Not one, but two pictures of Ben and myself sans kids.  And only one of them is a self-portrait!  I'm gushing with pride.  

 On November 20 my mom turned 39!  Yes, she had me when she was 10, but that is another story for another day.  I love my mom, and she has taught me a lot over the years.  And even though she now makes fun of me for my binder full of coupons and my tendency to be overly frugal, I owe my cheapness to her.  Making a nine year old save up a year's worth of money to buy an $82 American Girl doll would make any girl into a frugally fabulous young woman.     

And last but not least, my two little men turn TWO today!  Did I mention that I get emotional over birthday milestones?  I was depressed when I turned 10 (double digits) and distraught when I turned 12 (too old for the kid's menu at restaurants).  So when Hudson and Corbin turned one last year, I sobbed for a week.  But this year, I have yet to shed a tear.  Bring on the potty training!  Bring on the tantrums!  I'm ready.  My guys are officially not babies anymore.  They now age in years and not months.  Soon they'll be out of their cribs and talking in sentences.  Learning their ABCs and going to preschool . . . Where did Ben put those tissues?   

These Are a Few of my Favorite Things!

My take on one of Julie Andrews' classic songs . . .

Cozy bright fires and footie pajamas  

Mugs of hot chocolate and snuggles with mama

Corbin's sweet giggles while flying on swings

These are a few of my favorite things.

Picking out pumpkins and fall tractor hay rides

Pancakes and bacon and coffee brought bedside

Watching and waiting for what the day brings

These are a few of my favorite things.

Fairs with balloons and brown furry, sweet llamas

Boys sharing nice and a day with no drama

Lazy Mondays with kids lounging like kings

These are a few of my favorite things. 

 When the food burns

When the boys fight

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad!

10 years . . .

10 years ago today . . .

 ~ I was a 19 year-old college sophomore with dreams of teaching English.  And dreams of getting married and having lots of babies.   
 ~ I was enrolled in such demanding classes as "Playwriting" and "American Film" (which had a lab with it, the lab being to sit in Calvin's mini theatre and watch a movie each week.)
~ I was just getting back from my dorm retreat.  Go Rooks VanDellen!
~ I was moments away from going on my first date with my future husband. 

It's amazing to me to look back at the last 10 years.  I don't think I'll ever experience a decade in my life where this much has happened, this much change.  I've gone from being a teenager to knocking on the door to 30.  Ten years ago my concerns were maintaining scholarships and getting my papers in on time.  Now I'm responsible for two other human beings.  Back then I survived on Pop-Tarts and the dining hall's french fries, the only food that looked edible in my picky mind.  Now, my palate has greatly matured, and I have actually learned to cook.  Miracles do happen.

So much has happened since September 22, 2002, when Ben and I sipped Italian sodas at the Kava House in Eastown and strolled through downtown Grand Rapids talking about our lives, our likes, our hopes for the future.  We've grown up since then and together experienced many good days, and some not so good ones.  But through it all, I'm thankful every day that this introverted running machine, seemingly so different from myself, asked me out.  Happy 10 Year Dateaversary, Ben!  Here's to all those memories!  

         

Confessions of a Cheapskate

I could devote this whole blog to couponing and being thrifty, but let me start with some honesty.  I love to save, but sometimes I might go a little overboard.  I walk the line between fabulously frugal and crazy cheapskate.  Here are some examples:

1. Ben picked up a box of cereal on his way home from work one day.  I took one look at the receipt and cried, "You paid $4 for a box of cereal??!!"  That box of cereal was never opened.  I returned it the next day. 

2. I just finished filling out a rebate form for a kids' fruit pouch.  After taking into account the cost of the stamp, I will be getting back $1.

3. I can look through my drawer right now and tell you that there is not a single bra in there that was purchased by me.  They were all purchased by my mother.  Which means, they were bought when I was living under her roof . . . 7 + years ago.  Embarrassing.

This list could continue, but alas I have confessed enough for one day.  But please don't let me deter you from saving.  You don't have to be a cheapskate like me to save.  

Here are some of my reasonable and non-crazy ways I like to save money:

~Many grocery stores will double any manufacturer’s coupon (up to 99 cents) that you have.  During special promotions, some stores will triple your coupons or double your coupons up to $2.  This can be a HUGE savings!  

~ Find coupons in your local Sunday paper and go to websites like southersavers.com or coupons.com for links to online coupons.

~Some stores like Target have their own coupons that you can print from their website.  The great part about this is that you can use a “Target coupon” and a manufacturer’s coupon together for the same product. 

~To get the best savings, try to buy products that are both on sale and have a coupon(s).  

~Stop with the brand loyalty!  Couponing won’t be worth your time if you’re not willing to try new brands and new products.

~Be organized!  Stuffing coupons in your purse is not being organized.  Get a mini accordion folder or a notebook with baseball card holders. 

~Don’t be afraid to stock up, especially in the beginning and on non-perishable products.  If there’s a great sale on chicken stock and you have several coupons, stock up.  No pun intended.

   

~Couponing can be time-consuming in the beginning, but once you have a system going, it should take less than an hour per week.  

~When it comes to kids' products and clothes, buy USED or BORROW!  Catch some great yard sales or look for consignment sales in your area.  September is a big month for kids' consignment sales, so be on the lookout!

Some grocery deals from last summer (total-- $28).  I could have used that extra money that I saved and gotten bald baby Hudson some Rogaine!  

Hudson modeling his baby Crocs ($3--consignment sale) and his favorite toy (tree stump + gravel = free)

And the number ONE way to save on your kids' clothes . . . birthday suits!!!